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Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Love and Relationships - Are you scared to be alone?


Being Happy Being Alone



We are human. We long to be with another person. A person who will complete us, a person who will be there for us at all times. This is our nature. We love love and we loved to be loved. But what about the times when we do not have such a person in our lives? Should we feel lonely, upset, depressed? Of course if we are alone there are going to be times when we feel lonely, but just because you are not in a relationship it does not mean you have to stop living. Do not be scared, be free.

If you are a person who has been in relationships most of their lives, then yes the thought of being alone can be scary. But during our alone time we can learn a whole lot about who we are as individuals. In fact really getting to know yourself can be very beneficial to your next relationship. When we understand ourselves, we then know what we expect out of a relationship. We are aware of what we want. Knowing these things about ourselves and having standards does not mean that we are acting unreasonable, it means that when we do decide to get into a new relationship, the relationship will be healthy and strong because we will be showing the other person who we really are.

When we are in a relationship we often make many sacrifices to please the other person. Making sacrifices is essential in any relationship, I am not arguing that, but when we are not in a relationship it gives us a chance to do the things that we love to do. Things that we may have put out of our mind for a long time just because it did not fit into your relationship.

Takes these opportunities to grow, to explore your own emotions, to figure out who you are. Make time for friends that you have not seen in a while. Do things that will please you. Or do nothing for a while if that pleases you. Just know that breaking up with someone is not the end of your life.

If you are trying to get back with your ex, these tips will help you as well. Once you heal, once you are able to figure things out in your own mind, you may be able to speak to your ex about getting back together. There are many stages we go through when we break up with someone. Check out my article on Common Emotions After a Breakup. This will help you to understand what happens after we lose a relationship and what we should expect.

I have been there. I have been to that place where I felt as though the world was crashing down on me. I had no idea how to be alone. I felt lonely the moment we broke up. After a while I began to realize that my breakup was a miracle in disguise. I decided to be single for a long while. During that time I took the opportunity to explore so many things, to figure out who I was, what I wanted. I explored my emotions deeply and figured out why I felt the need to always have another person in my life. I wanted to know why I could not be happy on my own. I found out that I could! I have had some wonderful experiences without depending on another person. Before we can depend on another, we should be able to depend on ourselves. Now I feel it is so important to know that we can make it on our own.

After being single for about 3 years, my ex and I actually got back together. We are working hard on creating a long lasting wonderful relationship. A relationship in which we both know who we are as individuals and who are both able to equally express our emotions, and feelings. This is what is needed to build a strong relationship.

So if at this moment you find yourself alone, do not be depressed and sulk, be happy. This is your time. Use it wisely!

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